Grieving and the Holidays

The holidays are already stressful enough, thanks to financial pressures, social expectations, and family responsibilities. It can be an emotional roller coaster.

If you are grieving, however, the holiday season is often especially challenging because your grief may feel intensified. While never easy, this is actually normal and expected. The truth is that holidays will now always be different for you. Creating new traditions while continuing with some of the old ones may help you find comfort in the midst of all the changes.

Here are a few suggestions and reminders:

• It may not feel like holidays of the past, but that’s the result of the profound impact of loss and love.
• There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays when you are grieving.
• Instead of thinking of all the things you “should” or “must” do, approach holiday tasks in terms of “what I might do if there’s time.”
• It’s okay to eat out (or order pizza) instead of cooking.
• Give yourself permission to skip the party and instead go to a movie with friends (or simply stay at home).
• It’s natural to experience some melancholy, while on the other hand it’s perfectly fine to find yourself full of joy (and you don’t need to feel guilty for enjoying yourself).
• You might find meaning in honoring your loved one by setting a place at the table for them.
• Ask for help, whether for the actual assistance or just for companionship.
• You need not apologize for tears, for wanting to be alone, or for turning down an invitation.
• Intentionally schedule time for yourself – to rest, retreat, reflect, and be revived.

While you may not be grieving this season, you likely know someone who is. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge their loss, to check in on them, include them, and share this information with them. Even if they decline your invitation to go out for coffee, for example, you’ll remind them that they are not forgotten (and that’s powerful).

Please remember that we continue to be here to support you and your family. If there’s anything that we can help you with, please call us at (913) 477-8248. Our entire team wishes you the very best this holiday season.